The Gown Catastrophe
by ArsenicAngel
Summary: Before the students leave for Christmas, Hogwarts has a party. Severus Snape finds himself wearing a dress, Harry Potter gets detention, and many laughs ensue. Just for fun, little bit of fluff, implied slash HP/SS , no smut
1. The Joke Goes Wrong

_Severus:_ **Why** do you do these things to me?  
_Me:_ To please the readers.  
_Severus:_ And fulfill your own sadistic pleasures?  
_Me:_ That's right! Now then, the usual ditty, of course. I don't own this stuff, J.K. Rowling does. I'm just borrowing her characters for some torture and fun. Enjoy!

* * *

Severus looked around at the Great Hall with his usual scowl. 'Albus must have finally lost it,' he thought as he scanned the decorations throughout the room. Two weeks before, the headmaster had announced that here would be a special ball held before the students left for Christmas. The Great Hall had been decorated with everything from strings of lights and floating candles to glittering ornaments and garlands hanging near the ceiling. Severus found the whole thing to be a bit cliche and very tacky, but for some reason, Albus had made it clear that all the staff was to attend.

Since he wasn't able to leave, Severus settled with standing in a corner for the night. He glanced over the crowd of students with little interest until he noticed Draco Malfoy whispering to his two goons and smirking. Curiosity got the better of him, and Severus watched as Draco removed his wand from his robes, pointing it into the crowd at what Severus assumed was another student. The boy whispered a spell that he was unable to hear, and a moment later, burst into a fit of laughter. Turning in the direction Draco was looking, Severus realized that most of the gathered students were staring at the same thing.

In the middle of a small clearing of people stood Harry Potter, wearing a hot pink ball gown, complete with puffy sleeves. Severus was hard pressed not to laugh hysterically along with the rest of the students as Potter looked over his attire in horror. Seeing Harry take out his wand and aim it at Malfoy, Severus moved to step between the two.

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"_VERTO VESTIO!_" shouted Harry, just as Severus stepped between him and Malfoy. Severus froze, staring at Harry for a moment before finally looking down. His robes had transfigured into a neon yellow gown with a large, over-sized bow on the chest. The new wave of snickering was quickly silenced by Severus' angry glare.

Harry paled as Severus glared at him and took a threatening step forward. "My office, Potter," he growled, snatching the boy's wand from his hand. "Now." Wide eyed, Harry backed out of the Great Hall, terrified of turning his back on his angry professor. As soon as he cleared the doors, he turned and bolted down to the dungeons, hoping to at least give Severus a few moments to cool down before the man could get his hands on him.

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Severus quickly strode out of the Great Hall and after Harry, glaring at any students who dared to look at him. As he neared the dungeons, he heard one of the pictures laughing and realized he still hadn't transfigured his robes back to normal. With a scowl, he muttered a spell to fix them and continued on his way to his office. When he arrived, he found Harry leaning against the wall, still wearing his dress. Silently, Severus unlocked his office and moved to sit behind his desk, watching Harry enter with a cold glare.

"Don't know a counter spell, Potter?" Severus sneered as Harry arranged the skirts of the dress so he could sit. Harry looked up at him and glared, making Severus smirk. "20 points from Gryffindor for your attitude, Mr. Potter." Harry leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at his professor. "And 50 points because of that stunt of yours back there."

"WHAT?!" Harry shouted, standing in anger. "That's not fair! You got in the way!!"

Severus' eyes narrowed and he stood, walking around his desk to stand before Harry. "You transfigured my robes into a bright yellow gown in front of the entire school, Potter," he hissed, snarling Harry's last name. "And you think you're in any place to tell me what fair punishment is?"

Harry looked at him in shock for a moment before he started laughing. "In case you hadn't noticed, _Professor_, I'm in a dress as well. The differences is, **you** know how to fix it." Severus turned towards the back of his office and walked towards the door leading to his private chambers.

"Detention, Potter. Start cleaning."

"What, now?...I-in the dress?" Harry asked, dumbfounded.

Severus rolled his eyes and looked at Harry over his shoulder. "Yes, Harry, now. In the dress," Severus said, walking into his private rooms and shutting the door.

Harry stood there for a moment, wondering how he was going to clean without the dress getting in the way. Sighing in defeat, Harry looked around to figure out where to start cleaning when he paused.

"Wait a minute...Did he just call me 'Harry'?"

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Leaning against the door to his chambers, Severus frowned. Thanks to Albus' party, he'd been made a fool of in front of the entire student body, and he was almost certain that a few of them would never be intimidated by him again. 'On the bright side,' he mused, walking over to a black leather couch in front of the fire and sitting down. 'I get a bit of revenge on Potter before he leaves.'

A loud crash, followed by Harry cursing at the top of his lungs startled Severus just as he was laying back on the cushions. Jumping off the couch, he nearly dove towards his office door and yanked it open. He stopped dead in his tracks as he looked at the scene before him, his angry scowl turning into a look of shock.

Harry had knocked over the cauldron he'd been cleaning, along with several glass jars that had been sitting beside it. When the jars had shattered, the liquid inside them had drenched the hem of Harry's dress and began eating its way up the fabric and was burning his skin in the process. Trying to keep the unknown substance from doing any more damage to his legs, or any other part of his anatomy, Harry tore the gown off and tossed it on the floor, followed by his socks and shoes.

He stood there for a moment in nothing but his boxers before he realized it was somewhat chilly down in the dungeons when you were pretty much naked. Turning around, he noticed Severus standing in the doorway, staring at him, and blushed.

"Professor..." Severus pulled himself out of his thoughts and quickly replaced his shocked expression with a blank mask.

"I see you couldn't serve your detention without destroying something, Potter. _Accio robes!_" Turning, Severus caught the robes that came floating out from his chambers and tossed them to Harry. "Put these on and go to the hospital wing for those burns. Your detention is finished," he muttered, slamming the door to his rooms before Harry could respond.

* * *

_Severus:_ You miserable bi-  
_Me:_ Don't make me wash that mouth out with soap, mister!  
_Severus:_ *death glare*  
_Me:_ Keep it up, Sev. You're only encouraging me to put you in another dress in the next chapter.  
_Harry:_ Wait, wait, wait...Next chapter? When did you decide to make this something more than a one-shot?  
_Me:_ When I realized people enjoy seeing you two be tortured. SO! Thanks for reading, everyone. And see you again in the next chapter!


	2. Intentional Transfiguration

_Me:_ So between dealing with the aches and pains of pregnancy, and having to come back to Ohio for a few months (while the baby's dad/my fiancee stays in Canada), I haven't really done much in the ways of updating.  
_Severus:_ Obviously...  
_Me:_ Can it. Anyways, I'm making with the updates for all you lovely readers. So please enjoy!  
_Harry:_ And don't forget, she doesn't own or claim to own any of us - we belong to J.K. Rowling.

* * *

Harry stared up at the canopy of his four-poster bed. After Madam Pomfry had healed the burns on his legs, he'd come back to Gryffindor Tower to be alone. He had pulled the curtains around his bed closed and laid back to think over the events down in the dungeon.

Snape hadn't appeared angry at him for making a mess, or disgusted at him for being nearly naked at the time. He was shocked, that much was obvious. But he'd also seemed...interested?

Harry's brow furrowed as he thought of the implications of that. 'What if Snape..._liked_ seeing me like that?' he wondered, his eyes widening. He felt strangely calm as he turned the thought over in his mind. It took him a moment to realize he wasn't bothered in the least by the idea that Snape may be interested him. 'Does that mean...'

"SWEET MERLIN!!" he yelled, sitting up in his bed suddenly.

"Harry?! You alright, mate?" Ron asked, yanking the curtains of his bed open. Harry blinked at him, dumbfounded. "I just came in from the ball and heard you yell...Is everything okay?" he asked, looking at Harry worriedly.

"I...I think I might like Snape..."

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"So let me get this straight...You're gay?"

"I don't really know...I mean, I've never really thought another guy was attractive before, but...I guess?"

"And...You like Snape?"

Harry blushed and looked down at the sheets of his bed. "I...don't know. I mean, I think I might, but I'm not sure..." Ron shook his head and groaned.

"Alright, mate...I can deal with this, but..." Ron shot Harry a sideways glance and then sighed. "Never mind...If you like him, you like him. I won't try to interfere with whatever you do."

Looking up to meet Ron's eyes, Harry nearly smiled. "Thanks, Ron."

"How you'll get through to the slimy git though is beyond me," the boy said, moving to throw himself on his own bed. "I think it's a hopeless cause, but I guess you should try anyways, shouldn't you?"

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Severus circled his classroom, inspecting the cauldrons of each student as he passed. Harry watched him closely out of the corner of his eye as he stirred the brewing potion in front of him. After Snape sneered at his cauldron and moved on to the next table, Harry smiled to himself. Slipping his wand from his robes and aimed it at Severus from beneath his lab table.

"Puniceus vestio," he whispered, smirking as he saw the spell take effect. Snape's black robes transfigured into a well fitted evening gown in a bright shade of violet in front of the entire class. As giggles began to break out throughout the room, Snape glared at his class angrily.

"What is so..." he began, realizing as he crossed his arms over his chest that the sleeves of his robes has changed. Looking down at himself, his lip pulled into a thin, angry line. Glancing around the room, he noticed Harry's wand still in his hand and his eyes narrowed.

"Class is dismissed. LEAVE!" he yelled angrily, storming towards his desk. With a wave of his wand, his robes returned to their usual state and he turned to glare at his students as they began to run from the classroom. "Not you, Potter," he growled.

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Harry set his packed bag on the desk and sat back in his chair, fidgeting nervously. Severus ignored him for several minutes, storming angrily around his classroom. Finally, he stopped in front of Harry, leaning over the desk towards him.

"One hundred points from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter. What in the name of Merlin possessed you to do something so stupid?"

"I don't know, Professor. I just..."

"You just what? Thought it would be funny?!" Throwing up his hands, Severus turned towards his desk with a growl. "You're just like your bloody father..."

"No!" Severus stopped and turned to look at Harry. "I just wanted to get your attention, Sir..."

"Well you bloody well have it now! Though I don't understand why you couldn't have found a more appropriate way to get it!" Sighing, Severus sat down and pinched the bridge of his nose. "What exactly did you want my attention for, Potter?"

Blushing, Harry looked down at the lab table. "I...Sir, I wanted to talk to you."

"About?" Severus asked, a frustrated edge to his voice.

"The way you were looking at me last night," Harry said, keeping his voice calm as he looked at his teacher. Severus' head snapped up and he looked at Harry with wide eyes. "It seemed as though maybe...you liked seeing me like that..." he ventured, blushing.

"Get out," Severus said, shakily. Standing, he moved towards the door to his classroom.

"But Sir, I wanted to tell you that..."

"I said get out, Mr. Potter," he interrupted. "Now leave," he said, storming out into the hallway and slamming the door. With a sigh, Harry picked up his bag and walked out of the room. 'Perhaps I'll have better luck at dinner...' he thought as he left.

* * *

_Severus_: I hate you so very much...  
_Me:_ Oh, I know. *smile*  
_Severus:_ ...Why are you not intimidated by that?  
_Harry:_ Because she knows you're just a teddy bear, Sev!  
_Severus:_ *jaw drop* I...You...FOR MERLIN'S SAKE!!! *storms off*  
_Harry_: What'd I say? It's true...  
_Me:_ I know, Harry, I know. Anyways, see you all back for another chapter and another chance to torture Severus. *waves* Bye!


	3. Severus' Revenge

_Harry_: Have you seen Sevvy?  
_Me_: I think he's off sulking somewhere, still.  
_Harry_: *sigh* I better go find him before he poisons your morning coffee.  
_Me_: ...Yeah, please go do that. *watches him leave* So, the usual deal. I don't own Harry Potter, blah, blah, blah. You should know all this by now.  


* * *

Severus glared as Harry walked into the Great Hall for dinner. His anger since the incident in class hadn't faded much, and his wand felt heavy in his robes as he watched the boy walk to his seat. The smile on Harry's face made him glare harder, as he realized that he must have another crazy idea in his head.

'Well, I suppose if he wants to play games like this, I should remind him who he's playing with.' With a wicked smirk, Severus removed his wand from his robes and kept it beneath the table, aiming it at Harry as he made his way to sit down. He whispered a spell and stuffed his wand back into his robes before Minerva could realize it had come from him.

Harry's jaw dropped in shock as he realized his robes had been transfigured into a sequined, neon green bikini. The Great Hall broke out into a fit of laughter, and Harry looked around with an embarrassed blush. Nobody in the hall seemed to have their wand out, and he was unable to tell where the spell had come from. Looking up at the staff table, he saw the collection of teachers were looking at him with a mixture of shock and suppressed amusement, except for one.

Severus smirked at him triumphantly, and Harry's cheeks burned.

'So, you decided to play, after all?' he mused, smiling wickedly at the older man.

Ignoring the laughter still ringing through the hall, Harry sauntered up to the staff table with a mischievous smirk on his face. Severu's own smirk faltered as Harry made his way up to him at the table. The other staff seemed as confused by this as Severus, and they all watched him curiously.

Stepping up to the table across from Severus, Harry placed his hands on either side of his plate and leaned forward till their faces were inches apart. Severus swallowed nervously as Harry smirked at him. Before Severus was able to react, Harry leaned in further and pressed their lips together.

Harry felt Severus freeze as their lips connected. Resisting the urge to try and further the kiss, he pulled back and smiled cockily. "Do I have your attention now, Professor?"

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Severus stared at him, dumbfounded, until the Great Hall burst into a mixture of shouts and laughter. Finally, Severus narrowed his eyes and rose from the table. "My office, Mr. Potter," he growled, "Now."

Blushing, Harry looked down at the floor as he followed his professor out of the Hall, ignoring the whispers and stares directed at both of them. Severus remained silent as they made their way down to the dungeons. Harry bit his lower lip gently as his nerves finally caught up to him, waiting for Severus' anger to finally boil over.

Striding into his office, Severus spun on his heel to face Harry. Blushing, Harry looked up at him nervously, jumping as the office door slammed when Severus waved his wand.

"You have my attention, Potter. Now will you _please_ explain what insanity has possessed you lately?" Harry looked down at the floor, making Severus growl. "Answer me, Potter!"

Looking up, Harry glared at Severus and took a step towards him. "How else was I supposed to get you to talk to me?!" he shouted. "You ran away from me the last time I tried to talk to you about last night."

Severus quickly hid the look of shock at Harry's outburst behind his usual mask. "Fine, Mr. Potter. If you wish to discuss last night so badly, then we shall. Say your peace so we can stop this ridiculous game," he growled, moving behind his desk and throwing himself into his chair. 'Merlin help me,' he thought to himself.

"Sir," Harry started, standing in front of the desk. "I want to know why you looked at me the way you did last night..."

Severus' lip twitched into a sneer as he looked at Harry coldly. "You were nearly naked in the middle of my classroom and you wonder why I was looking at you?"

Harry's eyes narrowed and he leaned across the desk. "No, I wonder why you were looking at me like you wanted me, _Professor_," he hissed. A blush touched Severus' cheeks, making Harry smirk. "You're attracted to me, aren't you?"

Sighing, Severus lowered his head in defeat. "You win, Potter. Let the ridicule begin..."

Smiling, Harry leaned closer to Severus over the table, catching the older man by surprise as he lightly pressed their lips together. "Was that really so difficult to admit...Severus?"

* * *

_Harry_: Yay, I got my kiss!  
_Me_: Yeah, it's about time I gave you that much, huh?  
_Severus: _What in the hell do you mean 'about time'?! I've done far more than make out with him because of you, multiple times!!  
_Me_: Other stories don't count, Sev. In this story, it's about time you caved.  
_Severus_: *storming off* Oh for Merlin's sake!!  
_Harry_: Thanks for reading, all! But sadly, this story has come to an end. The author is now going to begin work on the much-requested sequel to a one-shot she posted (Banana Cream Puffs); so if you don't mind M ratings, go keep an eye out for that.


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